Eventually, I resigned myself to breaking my one rule of never playing multiplayer with people who are not in the same room as me (and therefore bound by the most basic rules of social etiquette), held my nose, and dived into the monkey house that is random game joining - catching fleeting glances in the three minutes before my connection died of a cruel world in which three uncommunicative specks on the horizon charged on ahead in pursuit of prizes, leaving me to the claws of a hundred multi-colored space lobsters. The reason why I've been putting it off is because I'm well aware that Borderlands is best played four-player co-op, and I don't have that many friends even if I did, playing split-screen would have been like reading a Where's Wally? book from across a room.
I wish more developers would be as considerate as the Dark Void team and just stop making the game halfway through.
And then, of course, I piddle all over it - in an act that you'd think would come as no surprise to anyone with the slightest grasp of pattern recognition - and the wounded, denial-ridden nerd mob leave hate comments suggesting I must have misinterpreted my own opinion! Well, I need another week to play the two-disc gelatinous cube that is Mass Effect 2, so here we go again. All right, fine, for fuck's sake I'll review Borderlands if it will make you shut up! (Except it won't, will it? We both know nothing could do that short of surgically removing your fucking jaw, and even then you could still drool down my ear.) I've been here too many times before: I delay reviewing a game and all the fans of the game feel the only possible explanation is that I'm struck dumb by how good it is, but they nag me to review it anyway in order to confirm their feelings and level up their internet cocks.
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